Hanging up the phone with my Mom and I can feel my face is flushed and red as hell. I’m angry. Actually, scratch that. I’m pissed. I can hear her words echoing in my head and they are so fatalistic, worst case scenario shit I don’t buy into. Haven’t bought into it in years and been doing my own inner work to notice that pattern of thought sooner than later so I can shift it to a more optimistic view, believing in myself. I grew up fearing the worst would happen and was taught to prepare for the absolute worst possible thing that could happen so I wouldn’t be caught off guard. Seems like a pretty sound way to approach life and mitigate pain and suffering however I figured out after many trials and attempts that the worst case scenario rarely ever happened. Actually what did happen was either I felt worried and pain over nothing and the end result was actually good or I worried so much about bad shit happening that something wrong always occurred. I might have gotten into the school I wanted but worrying about it had manifested getting the acceptance letter late, not being able to buy my books in time for the first day of class and generally feeling like I was starting behind the eight ball.
I began to question, why worry about shit you have no control over? What purpose does it serve? What if my focusing on the bad possible outcomes was actually creating them?
These patterns of thought were modeled to me from family and specifically my Mom. Her intentions were definitely from a good place. Any parent wants to prevent their child from suffering and experiencing anything bad especially if the parent has already been there and had a bad experience, you want to shield your kid from the same. I get that. Makes total sense and it’s a truly lovely idea but in reality, it can create unnecessary pain and suffering. Why suffer now by worrying now AND suffer later when the bad thing occurs? I personally don’t feel that serves a productive purpose and is a misuse of our infinite power and energy.
Build Your Belief In Yourself
As a business coach and business owner, I continue to have my fair share of unknowns. That can be scary or empowering depending on your viewpoint and vibe. As I’ve grown in my skills as a coach, I came up against this mindset to go to the worst case scenario when faced with a problem and I could clearly see it was causing more harm than good for me. I began to shift my thoughts to what’s possible, thinking to myself “what could go right here?”… What’s the best possible outcome? Immediately I noticed I felt lighter with these questions. I felt better and I don’t know about you but when I feel good as I’m making decisions, those decisions usually end up being damn good ones and my outcomes are way better. Hence beyond anything else, believe in yourself
So back to this phone call with my Mom…we were disagreeing on some things as it relates to our views on abundance and money. I’m aware that I see things differently and I can hold space for others who view differently. I’m only ever asking my clients to see if their beliefs about something are serving them or hindering them. I can only know what’s best for me and me alone. During this conversation though, my Mom went to the worst case scenario as is her pattern. Now, I’m not blaming my Mom for her viewpoint, nor am I holding her responsible for how it made me feel (effin pissed off). I own my emotions and I own my choices. But let’s be honest, sometimes in life, even your biggest fans and loved ones won’t believe in you or your vision. That’s cool. It’s your vision anyway, it’s not theirs. But that day I was triggered because how I view money as a business owner has shifted dramatically since jumping into the world of entrepreneurship. That doesn’t mean it stops hurting when your loved ones or friends can’t see it and maybe even say things that are worst case scenarios. Not everyone has the stomach for entrepreneurship. Hell, I didn’t have it at first. But I do now and it feels incredible to know I’m in charge of how I see the world. I control how I react and respond to life. I have the power and ability to create the business I love and help others do the same. People in your life will love you the best ways they know how. Allow them grace and assume they mean well. But beyond everything, believe in yourself. You. Are. Worth. It.